


of the heart

by pipistrelle



Series: rewoven, reforged [1]
Category: Emelan - Tamora Pierce
Genre: F/F, Family, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 15:14:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1653122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipistrelle/pseuds/pipistrelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Healing starts on the road home from Dancruan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	of the heart

**Author's Note:**

> This fic happened because I desperately needed this scene and it wasn't in Will of the Empress. Here is fix-it fic at its most blatant, friends. ^_^
> 
> Set shortly after the end of WotE. Uh, SPOILERS for WotE, and callbacks to Sandry's Book.

"Do you miss her terribly?"

Daja instinctively covered the portrait of Rizu she'd been studying, then realized it was no use hiding what she'd been doing and tucked it back into her saddlebags with a sigh. She looked up and met Sandry's anxious gaze, cursing herself for carelessness. She'd been so lost in woolgathering, pining for Rizu, that she hadn't noticed Sandry dropping back to ride beside her at the rear of their little group.

She turned her attention ahead, staring at Briar's back as she thought about what she could answer. For a moment she considered lying -- telling Sandry that it didn't hurt so badly, that she'd soon forget Rizu and all that she'd learned in Berenene's court. Then she glanced over again and met those earnest blue eyes, and felt a pang of shame. Had she become the sort of person who would lie to her sister, to her _saati_ , merely to save her pride? Assuming Sandry would let her get away with the lie, which wasn't likely.

"Yes," she said simply.

Sandry nodded, more to herself than Daja, but didn't say anything more. She let a few minutes lapse in silence before she spoke again, inwardly this time. _You know I didn't want you to have to lose her_ , she said quietly, almost timidly. _You could have stayed_.

 _I couldn't_ , Daja answered. Their fight to leave Namorn, and the week of traveling since, had shown her that, at least. She felt the heaviness of that thought, the weariness, and knew Sandry would have heard it. _I'd forgotten what freedom was like. I would never have lasted in that gilded cage -- even with Rizu_.

"Oh, Daja," Sandry cried, soft and pained, and Daja realized why when she felt the hot sting of tears at the corners of her eyes. She fumbled for a handkerchief, but Sandry was already offering hers. Daja accepted it with a sigh and wiped at her eyes. _I know it would never have worked, but knowing that's true doesn't make it hurt any less._

 _The hurt means it mattered_ , Sandry told her. _It wouldn't hurt if it hadn't been something meaningful -- something real._

 _That doesn't make it hurt less, either,_ Daja said, matter-of-factly.

 _I know, but I haven't got anything better_ , Sandry admitted. _If there's a cure for first heartbreak, no one's told me. Maybe Rosethorn knows._

Daja smiled a little at the joke. _Lark would know, more likely._

 _We'll ask her the minute we get back_. Sandry smiled back and leaned across the space between their horses to squeeze Daja's hand where it rested on the horn of her saddle.

 _And you know I would never have left you to those_ kaqs, Daja said as Sandry moved away. _Not for Rizu -- not for anyone. You're my_ saati, _always. If I had known --_

 _I know_ , Sandry told her. _You'd have been right there with Tris and Briar, pummeling those rats._ She shuddered at the memory of that lightless box, a whole-body tremor, as though she might be sick.

Maybe some of her remembered fear traveled down the magical tie between them, for Daja suddenly found herself remembering the earthquake that had forged them together as children. The four of them and their teachers had spent so much time talking about the effects of that spinning, but how often had she really remembered it? It closed in on her now, the close darkness, the heat and pain -- and Sandry's voice, in terror edging on madness, begging not to be left alone in the dark --

Calling for help. She'd called for help, and Daja hadn't heard.

 _And I didn't really mean those awful things I said to you after_ , Sandry was saying.

Daja blinked, coming back to the bright summer afternoon, far from darkness and fear. _It's all right_ , she told Sandry. _You had a right to be angry_.

Sandry smiled at her and spoke aloud, in Tradertalk. "Then all debts are forgiven between us?"

Daja drew in a deep breath and let it go, letting the bitterness and guilt go with it. They were all free and safe, and it was wasting worry to dwell on what might have happened. "There is nothing to forgive," she answered in the same language. Then she observed, "Your accent's worse now than when I left. How did you even manage that?"

"It's hard to keep in practice, living at the citadel," Sandry said wryly. "I tried to talk with the _gilavs_ and negotiators who came to sell things to Uncle's courtiers, but most of them just _looked_ at me."

Daja grinned. She knew exactly the looks Sandry would have gotten -- as if a pretty, empty-headed songbird had opened its beak and spoken in perfect Namornese. "You probably gave them a fright," she remarked.

"Or they thought I was silly," Sandry groused.

Daja's grin widened. "Aren't you?" At Sandry's startled look, she added, "It does creep up on you without warning, sometimes."

For a heartbeat Daja thought she was in for the offended-duchess treatment. Then Sandry relaxed and returned Daja's grin. "Sometimes," she agreed. "It will be a great relief to everyone at court to have you three around again -- to rein in my silliness."

"Count me out. I'm not fool enough to try to rein in your anything," Briar declared. He'd let Tris and Gudruny take the lead, dropping back close enough to his sisters to overhear. "I've had my fill of mules for this lifetime, thanks."

Sandry sighed. "You're not going to let go of that, are you?"

"Not likely," Briar said cheerfully.

Sandry fought to keep the smile off her face and lost. "And to think I missed having a brother."

"Don't know what you were thinking," Briar agreed. "Daj', you up for some staff practice when we stop for midday?"

"If you're ready for a drubbing," Daja answered, returning his grin. She didn't miss the lightning-fast look that passed between Sandry and Briar as he sped up to rejoin Tris. And she didn't have to be in their heads to know that they were discussing her.

That was all right. They could worry about her if they wanted to -- they were her family, after all. And she knew as well as they did that the hurt she felt over Rizu would fade eventually. There would be other pains, and other pleasures, and through it all she would have their circle to depend on, to help her heal. To show her that she, too, could be reforged.

Though they were still in Olart, weeks and weeks from the Emelan border, Daja grinned at her _saati_ and said, _It's good to be home_.


End file.
